Oct 31st- 4th Nov: Growing me a bit tickler

This is a week where traditionally most people dress up to look scary and watch over-rated explosions in the sky; it’s now become a period where womene dress like prosties and men grow silly facial hair for dick cancer. I’m doing the latter. As far as the former goes, I’m all for a seeing a good costume but when I went to gym on Monday, all the staff were in fancy dress. Getting told what to do by the gym staff is annoying enough as it, let alone when one of them is dressed as a wolf.

I managed to wrack up somewhere in the region of 300000 miles in 5 days for various gigs I was performing at, so spent almost all my daytime hours sitting on trains and desperately trying to find bread-free food due to my new “I’m a massive tosser” diet. Long story short, I ended up eating cooked chicken with my barehands whilst aimlessly walking through the streets of Ipswich. That sounds like a start to the world’s crappest poem.

So in reality, all I did was will my moustache to grow out to an acceptable length. By acceptable, I mean past the point of looking like a sex bandit. It has not grown past that point yet. Essentially I don’t think I can smile at kids for the rest of the month without getting vilifying stares from parents. I think they should rename Movember, “Sexbanitember”, however, I doubt it would be such a popular cause.

Please sponsor me and my bit tickler: http://mobro.co/chrismocomedy