May 2nd-6th. Being Tired… A Lot

No matter how long you leave the country for it always takes you about a week to recover. I reckon you could fly to Paris for a night and you’d still feel like lethargic sack of bones for seven days afterwards. Post-Portugal I could barely walk around for 15 minutes without needing a little sit down. I also had to have a self-imposed alcohol break due to the fact it hurt my belly every time I swallowed. I’m no medical expert but this can’t be a good thing, I’d even say it’s probably a bad thing. I’m still yet to see the GP but knowing what GP’s are like they’ll say “have a Strepsil, it will go away in a few days time’.

This fatigue affected me in an amusing way. I had to go to a casting on the Wednesday morning, in which I could barely keep my eyes open. I was supposed to sound really enthusiastic about some stupid product but after 1 or 2 goes the casting lady had to say, “can you try doing that bit slightly less…ummm…umm” I jumped in “sarcastic?”, “yes please”. I did not do it any less sarcastic and I did not get the job.

I also got to do a TV warm up for an online football show called “Score Board”: check it on Facebook, it’s hosted by the very funny Dougie Anderson and better than looking at photos of your neighbours Bah Mitzvah. The best thing about it was that I got to meet Scott Minto and Jason Cundy, two names that always feature when me and my friend play the game of “texting each other 90s Premiership footballers”: if you need more explanation about the game, you’re and idiot. Being the silly idiot that I am, I asked them both who was the longest in the shower when they played football. They were miffed by this and said they’d never been asked this question. I was sceptical and after a bit of cajoling found out that Scott Minto’s nomination was Ruud Gullit , whilst Jason’s was himself. Make of that what you will. I’ll try to find out who had the baggiest sack next week.