4-8th October: Just when you think you’re growing up you buy a new Xbox game

This week I was back in London and so much less depressed. I dabbled at writing but mainly enjoyed the fact I wasn’t being kept prisoner in a sleeping bag.

Things I did, which I now count as constructive were, buy the new Fifa 11, get a haircut and purchase a new adult coat. I went to Sainsbury’s to get Fifa because I heard that you get it £25 if you spend over £30 on other items. I had no real need to buy any groceries and I wanted to get gaming as quick as possible so I embarked on my own version of “Supermarket Sweep”; minus the orange faced house husband’s favorite, Dale Winton. My main criteria were, get items that are high cost, not perishable and can be easily swept into my trolley. For one horrific moment I thought they’d sold out of the game on the X-BOX. After queuing at customer services for ages, I begged, “please don’t tell me you’ve sold out because that’s the only reason I bought this food is to get Fifa for £25”: a sentence that no 24 year old man should ever say. Luckily they had it and I now have no reason to leave my flat.

Natalie, who I’ve mentioned in previous posts gave me my usual haircut…sort of. She prefaced the task by saying “I’m really hungover”. Well that’s fucking fantastic, person holding deadly weapons in and around my scalp and face! If you want to tighten your sphincter at 11am on Monday, try watching a person with the shakes put a sharp thing near your eye for 30 minutes: it’s impossible not to look at your inevitable injury due to the fact there are 30 bloody mirrors in the joint. She managed to pull it off, although it was a bit too short but that’s down to the fact I asked for it too short, no doubt distracted by the fact I may have to wear an eye patch at the end of the ordeal.

I also bought a proper man’s coat at Uni Qlo, which is incidentally the best shop in the world. I don’t know how much the Japanese workers are getting paid for making the clothes and I don’t want to because it may put me off buying suspiciously affordable garments from there. By a proper man’s coat, it has buttons and no hood. I think this is the first time I’ve owned one and I felt almost like a real grown-up until I went home and played 3 hours of virtual football online.