This week was spent traipsing around the middle and north of Britain in my chick-magnet, white Nissan Micra. I went to such exotic destinations as Leicester, Nottingham, Liverpoo, Sheffield and Bridlington and I found myself far more homesick than when I was in Indonesia. This is due to the fact that I was crashing on sofas and was struggling to kill time during the day till my gigs.
When I’m at home during the day, even if I’m alone, I can constructively write, go to the gym or do some admin (play Fifa online). Whilst I’m staying with people despite them making me feel as comfortable as possible I can’t fully relax because I’m sort of in the way, therefore I don’t do anything constructive. Things I did to pass the time were go to the cinema twice: “Scott Pilgrim” and “The Other Guys” were both good, I especially enjoyed the latter due to the fact I think Mark Walberg is the coolest man in the world. I would happily bum him in exchange for some of his coolness, although I don’t think this is a proven ‘get cooler’ technique. I also took 2 hours to eat a sandwich at lunch at Leeds University, mainly because I was staring at everyone trying desperately hard to impress each other with clothes, new hairstyles and a variety of different sized earphones. The people with the biggest earphones think they’re the biggest legends but in actual fact they come across as the biggest bellends.
I stayed with Chris Quaile (nicknamed ‘The Egg’), who kindly let me crash for 3 days in Leeds but the fact I was in my sleeping bag meant I was massively uncomfortable. I understand the practicality of a sleeping bag but why does the bottom bit have to remain zipped tightly? Surely you should have the option of turning the bag into a cover? It’s so irksome trying to sleep in a cotton pharaohs tombstone, it’s like practicing for being buried alive. You may be thinking, why didn’t I just bring a duvet with me as there is plenty of room in my car? The answer is that I’m a moron but at least it’s given me something completely minor to complain about.
Now I’m back in the comfort of NW London, I can do something constructive like…well, check my emails 20 times. However, I can do it in the comfort of my own pants. I’m may be lonely but at least I’m comfortable.
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The closest I’ve come to doing something similar was a seven day music gig-athon I attempted by myself in 2006. I booked hotels and day trips to go and see loads of bands but ended up having to cancel a few as I a) got too lonely and b) ended up with too many hangovers to cope with.
ReplyDeleteI’d like to get into performing music live but the travelling part puts me off. I think doing what you comedians do would drive me insane after a while, I tip my hat to anybody who can do it and stick to it.