12-30th March. I’ve been lazy.

This is one of those entries where I’ve got behind on my blog so I will go through some of the highlights in one super-blog. By calling it that, I’ve made it sound way better than what it actually is: a shit, patched together collection of things.

I’ve been to exciting and far flung places I the last month: Zurich, Basle, Westfield (Shepherd’s Bush). You may think that is a joke but the latter is a very exciting place for me to go in a weekday afternoon due to the large number of comedians walking around it. I was there two afternoons in a row: one because I had to visit an ironically titled genius in the apple store and the other was to do some writing with a coupe of people. I managed to bump into most of the comedy circuit including Whitehall, Walsh, Connaty, Donnelly, Crosby, Beckett. If you want to stalk a comedian just hang around the cupcake shop of a shopping centre and you’ll be no more that 5 metres away from one. We are like rats…rats that carry shoulder bags.

I usually hate going into the Apple Store, although one man made the visit worthwhile. As I was waiting for some arsehole in a blue t-shirt to make me feel like a techno-tard, I overheard a man trying to barter for an Iphone. His was broken and so the guy brought out a replacement for £120. The man (wearing a Man U football shirt, smart trousers and black trainers) said “can’t you do me a different price?” He must have confused the Apple Store with a market in Thailand. Pretty understandable as they look so similar.

I should probably talk about Switzerland as it’san usual country. It’s unaffected by the recession, ridiculously clean and supposedly very boring. I disagree about the boring bit. Walking around the place I saw several old men in business suits traveling around on micro scooters. It’s almost like the older you get there the more childish the transport. I wonder if you get given a pogo stick when you retire? Also everyone there is fit. I saw one fat person in 3 days, and they were probably only fat because no one got them a micro-scooter for Christmas. Apparently Swiss people keep themselves to themselves but I didn’t meet any so I can’t confirm or deny this. Also the final thing I learnt is prostitution is legal but being too loud after 10pm is illegal. Therefore, If you have loud sex with a prostitute at 10:30pm the only thing you will get banged up for is being noisy.

I’m currently sitting on a train back to London from Newcastle. I’m in first class trying to cash in by continuously requesting free bottles of Harrogate Spring.

Laterz x