This week I got to record something that I didn’t need to audition for therefore couldn’t mess up. I got to do a talking head for “top 50 moments of the world cup”. It basically meant I got to talk a lot of nonsense about moments I only really got to watch a few hours before filming. For a Wednesday afternoon, you can’t do much better than getting paid to talk gubbins about football. Whether anything I said is going to look funny on TV is another matter. Before I started doing stand- up one of my ambitions was to be one of those talking heads on television that no one recognises. Now I’ve achieved that I would maybe like to do something where people know who I am for doing something good. At the moment I’ll settle for glorified anonymity.
I also had to go to advert audition. Thank Christ’s cobblers I didn’t have to read anything like with the Derren Brown debacle. I had to improvise with a female comedian called Vikki Stone. Castings are much more uncomfortable than stand up. It was the two of us surrounded by 8 advertising/filming executives being told to do various accents in multiple scenarios. I felt like a piece of meat; not a good piece like a steak, I felt like offal. I pulled out a Geordie accent, which is all that I really learnt from 3 years of university in Newcastle.
Turns out I actually got a part on this advert. I will not name it; this is not for legal reasons but because I don’t want people to see me looking like a bellend on the box. You get a prize if you spot me.
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