Wednesday 3rd March

Today was exciting for me as I was having friends over for lunch. Human interaction: my favourite.

I went to the gym and GM number 2 was dominating the weights area. He is one of the biggest men I’ve ever seen, outside of the WWE. He is a skinhead geezer, who I’m guessing eats raw chickens for breakfast, whilst I have a penchant for blueberries on Weetabix. I go to a £70 a month gym in Notting Hill yet there is still a bucket load of adult rudeboys in there. A group of about 8 all seem to know each other through their mutual love for trying to beef up and the fact that they speak the language of the streets (don’t worry, I know how wanky a phrase “language of the streets” is). One guy walked over to everyone and announced “ain’t nothing but love in the gym right now!” Shut up and let me do my inferior bicep curls, please.

I managed to prepare a sausage and mash feast for my two mates Tara and Charlie. They are both 2 girls who tickle my funny bone. Charlie spent the whole afternoon slagging off my cooking, whilst Tara pretty much just smashed up my kitchen. They both left me to do all the washing up; still it’s a good way to pass the time. They did, however, show me one of the funniest websites around. It’s called www.Chatroulette.com. The premise of it is, all around the world anyone with a webcam and microphone can chat to you. If you get bored of someone you simply hit ‘next’. It’s a very simple idea and the only way to do it justice is to give it a go. The downside is most of the people on it are weird men and more often than not you stumble across an adult masturbating in the hope that he’ll find a hot girl. I’m sure it will soon get banned as there are children innocently using it. The girls said they saw Snoop Dogg on it when he was stoned, which sounds more fun than a bloke touching his bits. For a laugh, I made sure I was out of shot and got the girl’s to keep clicking ’next’ till they found someone masturbating. After 5 seconds, I would jump up and shout ‘stop Wanking! You sick freak’. It is funnier and less disturbing than it sounds. Give it a go.

The girls remained at mine watching DVDs till past 5. So all in all a fun human filled Wednesday for me.